Keeping Self Honest: Progress Report on New Year's Resolutions

So in the interest of being honest and true with myself and my resolutions that I made in good faith last month, I am going to do a brutally honest self-analysis of my progress thus far, step by step and resolution by resolution.

I WILL:

1) Join gym and obviously lose 3000 pounds in one month (maybe just remove two zeros for purpose of ease [surely attainable?]).
          1a) Lose my 'New Jersey 10' with alacrity (good progress already made in this front owing to poverty diet and stark lack of any delicious things at home).

Status of resolution: Total success on Prop 1A! Was right about poverty diet. Mixed success on Prop 1 as have not joined gym as yet due in large part to previously mentioned poverty but have lost more than mere New Jersey 10 in one month.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. Feel inspired by New Roommate already joining gym inside a month of being here and wish to continue to improve self as best way to obtain healthier social life, self worth, and similar.

I WILL:

2) Be diligent about invoices, attendance sheets, timesheets, and similar.

3) Learn how to actually do invoices.

Status of resolution: Total success. Have learned how to do invoices at long last and have developed system for self wherein will never be late with timesheets and attendance sheets and invoices ever again, thereby avoiding terrifying threatening emails and text messages from financial.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. New system totally in place with no signs of falling at last hurdle.

Impressed with self, obviously.

I WILL:

4) Find time to sing as have discovered thanks to time with Yolanda that it greatly improves my mood and generally makes me feel good. Also surely must be type of exercise?

Status of resolution: Mixed success. Recognise this as superfluous resolution and no longer entirely convinced of value of maintaining it, at least not as dubious exercise routine.
Prospects for future: Outlook mixed. Too shameful to walk round house singing at top of voice all the time, but will continue to seize private opportunities.

Cheryl says nahh.

I WILL:

5) Pay all bills on time instead of letting phone, internet, etc be turned off owing to late payment of minimum payments.

Status of resolution: Outright failure. Aforementioned poverty and lack of timely paycheque from work has resulted in the continuation of turned-off phone service. Continued fear that payment on last day of payment tomorrow for internet will result in interrupted service again. Must call company and explain situation. Sure they will be understanding.
Prospects for future: Outlook mixed. In quagmire of bills, as am now faced with 1900kč monthly social security tax payment and 1500kč fee for end of energy bill in flat. Hopeful about phone being turned on next week with arrival of paycheque tomorrow and payment of other essentials.

 Doubtful.

I WILL:

6) Try new recipes more frequently instead of falling into dreadful rut of making same successful recipe every night for 3 weeks.

Status of resolution: Mixed success. Have successfully taken on delicious new recipes, but have fallen into same habit of making successes over and over ad nauseam until supplies required for recipe run out.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. Feel prepared to continue to try new things, taking inspiration as always from creations of Laura Jane's perpetually interesting cookery.

I WILL NOT:

1) Bitch about missing Tandrew, Alice, Meghan, Simona et al but instead invest time into finding new friends (ideally the more permanent variety).

Status of resolution: Total success. Still missing lovely friends yet have adopted healthy 'if you love them, set them free' style attitude towards whole thing.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. Promising new social calendar and lovely new friends comprised of expats and students.

Self at parties??

I WILL NOT:

2) Let self become bone idle, lazy, demotivated, or sedentary. Will sit with computer at kitchen table instead of tucked away in bedroom like some sort of elderly recluse on disability.

Status of resolution: Total success. Not sure about this one actually but Laura Jane says have been total success. In fact, am seated at kitchen table right now, and have partaken in lovely crafting.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. At least for the minute, am more content sitting here writing than would be if I was curled under my duvet watching Project Runway.

I WILL NOT:

3) Maintain habit of binging and purging re: blogging, i.e. going for days and days without posting until it all comes to a head and I vomit sixteen topics in one sitting.

Status of resolution: Total failure, as evidenced by today's and recent blogging activity. Have not posted in over a week, yet am doing my third post of the day already. Definitive binging and purging.
Prospects for future: Outlook dire. If being totally honest about it, don't see this changing, but will continue to make best efforts.

Representative of the eagerness with which I should approach blogging.

I WILL NOT:

4) Be in any way habitually negative or self-pitying as continuation of last two years' resolutions (only resolution which have ever kept).

Status of resolution: Total success. Have not sunk into any debilitating funks for more than two days at a time, and am always successful at pulling self out.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. Winter fades and with it so too the potential for Generalised Pissed Disorder (new candidate for DSM?).

I WILL NOT:

5) Close self off from opportunities in work, love, or social life. Instead, will extend self more and put self 'out there', as they say, though am unsure and uncomfortable about where exactly 'out there' is. Sounds dangerous.

Status of resolution: Total success. Have done exactly as resolved to do, with tremendous results. Feels like a major personal victory.
Prospects for future: Outlook good. Found that it is easier to keep self in this state of mind than anything else. After all, "Worrying will not change the outcome."

I WILL NOT:

6)  Lie about my ideas, my life, my thoughts and opinions, or myself to make other people feel better somehow.

Status of resolution: Total success. Well, so far at least, but has not yet been really tested as such. Will know more when faced with relevant situation.
Prospects for future: Outlook mixed. Resolve may fade when faced with relevant situation.


So there we have it! A frank and devastatingly self-aware assessment of status of life and resolutions. Will continue to monitor these as the year progresses.